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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
.hack//sign has one amazing soundtrack!!! here's the lyrics of one of the songs that i just love!!!! =p =p =p
aura
~vocals by Emily Bindiger
if you are near to the dark
I will tell you 'bout the sun
you are here, no escape
from my visions of the world
you will cry all alone
but it does not mean a thing to me
knowing the song I will sing
till the darkness comes to sleep
come to me, I will tell
'bout the secret of the sun
it's in you, not in me
but it does not mean a thing to you
the sun is in your eyes
the sun is in your ears
I hope you see the sun
someday in the darkness
the sun is in your eyes
the sun is in your ears
but you can't see the sun
ever in the darkness
it does not much matter to me
Posted by: little-nymph / 7:57 PM /
i love you so very much ari... i hope you always remember that...
Posted by: little-nymph / 7:40 PM /
i have been watching this anime series with my brother and i am really really loving it... its called .hack//sign... galing!!! if you know about it then you would agree with me... =) anyhoo... if you care enough to be wondering how i am then the answer would be that i am well... i am at the very least still myself... which means i am still a little crazy... i am still in constant conflict with myself... i am still happy and depressed at the same time... i am still weird and all that... and yes, i still tend to think too much... so yes... i am still here... and all that... enjoying the summer vacation... but not the heat... ack! hate the heat... and in connection to that i had a haircut... its not as if i chopped off all my hair but i think i can safely say this is my shortest hair in about 12 years... yup... well... what else to say... ack! speechless for once! =)
Posted by: little-nymph / 7:38 PM /
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
~a poem out of nowhere.~
where can i find silence?
for surely there is none where i exist.
no peace.
no solace.
every moment, just chaos.
there is no end.
all there is, is a constant, unavoidable chaos.
and there is nothing else in life.
chaos.
Posted by: little-nymph / 9:31 AM /
Sunday, March 14, 2004
as for knowing/understanding one's self...who knows?! we are strangers to ourselves...and far greater enigmas to others...i am in no way saying that i am a schizo and that one personality is a totally different identity in her own...its just that...i cant say i know myself as much as i could or i would want to...there is a certain wall that i cannot pass through...its as if, i cannot access my own mind at times...i act or speak first before my mind could have any say to it...*sigh* i dont kow...maybe its just me...but its all very confusing...for those who know me (or calim to anyways...) i just have to ask...who am i? and if you could answer me that tell me if i am acceptable...'cause i really dont understand the concept of 'friendship' and at times even 'love' (alhtough ari has been trying to make me understand...).... tell me why i am accpted by some, most whom i never considered my 'close frinds'...and on the other hand, back-handedly spat on by others...i mean, i know you can never please everybody, despite all your efforts....but what the hell am i doing wrong? its as if i am never good enough for anybody anymore...and the harder i try to please them the more they seem to find faults in my character...so...what those it really mean? am i just really 'hate-able'? some say im nicer and easier to get along with because i smile more often or seem happier (which i am by the way)...and then all of a sudden there are those who try to the best of their abbilities to avoid me...see the contradiction, anyone?!?! *sigh* i mean, come on! what the hell is wrong with that picture?! *sigh* somebody please help me understand...maybe there really isnt anyhting wrong...and maybe im just thinking too much, seeing things that arent there...but then again maybe im just really ignorant of all these...ack! i dont know! you tell me what you think...
Posted by: little-nymph / 7:51 PM /
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
ahem ahem...just a thought...since i have become the girlfriend of a 'popular' boy have i turned against all my 'teenage angst' friends? and for that matter, have i lost some sense of identity? as this blog has shown (yes...i was reading previous entries...) the girl who started this series of thoughts and diary-like entries and the girl who is writing this now are very different and independent creatures...point being? i cant help but wonder if i have lost touch with who i was? and if i have, is it necessarily an evil thing? yes i am happy...but is this happiness worth losing myself? and if i am losing myself, should i sacrifice happiness to regain myself? so people are bound to ask...what in hell made me think of all these? well, i have found that 'belonging' has turned out to be more difficult in my new situation as a happy girl...why? because i have always been with people who, although perfectly normal, tend to think too much...point taken, they are a lot like me...but in this person, that they suddenly found themselves faced with, it seems as though she takes her life for granted...which, by the way, i am not doing...for clarifications, i have just found out that life is meant to be enjoyable, despite the many setbacks..and i intend to relish every moment i can...so, im sorry if it seems like im nagging or over-hyper-active, but im happy i get to be happy...i dont want to feel bad about being happy...i have waited too long for a moment of pure happiness that i cant contain it to myself...im sorry if it seems like im trying to tell you all that i have the perfect lovelife, and you dont...but im not...i just like sharing my thoughts...and most of the time (nowadays) my thoughts are happy...another thing though, i am writing this at this very moment for the simple reason that, i want people to understand that i am happy with ari...and that although ALOT of people disagree with my decision, i believe my choice to have been the right one...i am careful of myself...despite that people think of my actions as reckless and in abandon...thank you all for the concern but...im okay....im just happy...please be happy that im happy...and if ever i have lost something crucial to who i was, i just have to live with it...
Posted by: little-nymph / 10:13 PM /
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
ack! almost forgot i had kwento! kince (he's one of of my REALLY close friends) and i got to go out last sunday! had a great time just ctaching up... talked about rabbi being in 'star in a million' (thats this talent search show)... wish rabbi well!! hehe ^_^ *sigh* i just realized how much i miss kincey and how seldom we see each other now a days... *sigh* hope to see you again soon kince!!! ^_^
Posted by: little-nymph / 9:40 AM /
i love you cuddles!!!
Posted by: little-nymph / 8:39 AM /
hola... hola... im just in my computer class... just sending myself the homework through email... anyhoo... im still alive... yes indeed i am still alive... been having a rough couple of weeks... but it seems as though life is slowly getting better... had a retreat last thurs-fri... it helped... (i think...?!?!) i missed ari a whole lot though... which made me sad... =( (aww!!) but it got better... i brought home apple pies!!! hehe... gotta love apple pies... heehee... have a chem longtest in a few mins... ack!!! help!!! *sighs* i will be very very happy when this school year ends... anyhoo... i better get back to the lesson... byee! =p
Posted by: little-nymph / 8:39 AM /
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